As we populate this blog on the places we have been and the things we have done for the last 8 years, I thought it would be fitting to talk about some of our experiences when we travel. So here are a few tips on what to think about when planning to travel with a group.
- It’s very hard to get a group of people to all move in the same direction at the same time: When I was in Europe we travelled before school started as a group of three. After the first day in Paris we agreed that it would be much easier if we split into two groups. Some of us were happy to wander aimlessly to a destination and experience the city around us. While others wanted to get on public transportation and arrive quickly at a set destination and move on to another set destination afterwards. So be aware of who you are traveling with and what their travel style is.
- Just because they are your friends or family, doesn’t mean they should travel with you: People often comment on the places we have been and the things we have done. But when they start inquiring about joining us on our next adventure we have to buckle down and say no sometimes. We’ve been on a couple of trips where people’s expectations were not met. Our friends and family are way too important to us to have tensions flare and feelings get hurt. To the same point, we work hard so that we can enjoy our time traveling. To be away and not enjoying yourself is just not what we have in mind when we travel.
- Gauge the participation levels of your travel buddies: My husband and I love to dive, we love to climb things, and we love to explore. We went on a cross country trip across Costa Rica in 2016. We failed to ask one of our travelers if they wanted to drive. Which it turns out, they did not. Oops! Luckily for us we had plenty of other drivers, but if you don’t cover that base before you leave, you could find yourself stuck! We also have people who are very active and people who are less active that travel with us. So it’s really important to discuss the level of activity you plan to do and who wants to do it. We have had several successful trips where people did different activities. It worked for us because we were very clear that we were going to do a certain thing and that anyone was welcome to join, but no one should feel like they have to. We are very good at going off and doing our own thing. But we have been on trips with people who are not, so don’t plan to go on a trip and do your own thing if you haven’t discussed that with your trip buddies.
- Food: This is a big one. My husband and I have a travel budget when we go, but we don’t stop ourselves from sitting down at a restaurant that looks nice and eating. We have travelled with people who want to walk for an hour to find the best deal, and we have travelled with others where we ordered the special and unknowingly paid for the most expensive thing on the menu. I’ve also travelled with people who said they would only eat hamburgers (challenging when you’re in a foreign country) and people who were willing to try anything! On top of that, we have also rented villas where you have to purchase your own groceries. This can be challenging if you have travelers in your group who are watching every penny, who eat less, or who don’t drink. Tensions get high when you split the bill evenly, but they think they haven’t eaten or drank as much as others. So if you’re going to travel this way I recommend everyone putting money into a kitty that is used to buy groceries. If you go out to dinner and they won’t let you split the check, have one person pay and divi everything up after the trip is over. And ask people before you decide to go on a group trip like this how they want to handle the breakdown of expenses. For us, we don’t really care. We’ve been traveling with some of the same people for awhile now and we feel like it all washes out in the end.
- You can only manage your own expectations: This may sound harsh, but it is the truth. You can only control how you feel about the situation and what you personally are going to do about it or willing to deal with. Frank is a pleaser, he often goes along with things he doesn’t want to do because someone else wants to do it and they should get to. Everyone on the team is happy! I, on the other hand, am not. And if I don’t want to do something, i’m a lot less inclined to do it. When we went to Europe a couple years ago, I was the only one that had been to Italy. I thought people would put in their input on what they wanted to see and do. We picked a couple of cities and a couple of must see destinations. It turned out our travel companions didn’t want to hurt my feelings, so they wouldn’t put in any recommendations. Bummer, that wasn’t what I wanted, but I didn’t speak up enough to let them know that recommendations were welcome. At one point Frank even refused to walk next to me. I might as well have been a tour guide, and that was no fun for me. Since then I’ve learned to speak up. This is what we are going to do, anyone is welcome to join us, or if you’d like to do something else that’s great too. And I no longer worry if people don’t want to or can’t do the things I want to do. There are so many things to do when you travel there is no shortage of things for other people to do. But it’s great to have at least one buddy that wants to do the things you want to do. Luckily for me I won’t do much traveling without Frank, and he likes to do a lot of things that I like. Although, if he asks me to jump out of an airplane, he will have to find another buddy to join him! And I don’t have to be with him all the time, I’m perfectly okay with saying “no, I don’t want to do that” When we were in Costa Rica, 5 of them wanted to go 4-wheeling. I didn’t want to go, I needed a break (as an introvert I like to be alone and we had been together for days). So I opted not to go on the tour with them. There were some in our group that thought I was scared, or worried about the activity. While there were others that weren’t sure about me being on my own. I promised not to wander off alone, but I needed that time, and I spoke up. And I am really glad I did. So remember, when you’re traveling, not all of your travelers will have the same mindset as you. And you have to be okay with that. In the words of one of my best friends “Let them have their feelings”. It’s okay to feel differently. But you can’t manage other peoples expectations. Only your own. And if you need a few hours alone, make sure you take it before you turn into a grumpy traveler!